archived: 12 - 18 Jun, 2005 Back Next
JAY GREENE
“America's All Volunteer Army”
There is increasing concern that Army recruiters will be unable to fill quotas. Bad news from Iraq, and the automobile salesman tactics of the Pentagon (failing to disclose the fine print that says we can keep you well past your enlistment period) have tended to restrain both volunteering and reenlistment.
I have a solution, with multiple downstream benefits.
My proposal will beef up both numbers and morale; it is a determined recruiting effort in the American South and Southwest and the poster will say, "God Needs You" and the recruits will be called "The Evangelical Army" and told they are embarked on a Crusade to make the Middle East safe for the Reborn who acknowledge Jesus (no one else need apply, or be saved).
Think of the savings! They wouldn't accept a signup bonus even if offered; they'll need little training (God is on their side); they need only the shotguns from their pickups (the NRA will make up any shortfalls), thus saving on more expensive weaponry and ammo. Not to be too cold blooded about it, but it's completely win-win for those of us on the more ecumenical side of the fence: a casualty on either side is a blessing, as it will be one set of fundies shooting at the other. Survivors on either side won't be whining about meager veterans' benefits, lack of proper treatment, Agent Orange or hospitals lacking sufficient copies of the Holy Koran; the faithful know God (Allah) wills all outcomes; complaining is both unmanly and blasphemous.
Objective observers will see it as an empirical test of whether Jesus or Allah is the more powerful; just think: we'll unite science and faith, at last!
Say hallelujah.
DOTTIE SCHER
“Felt”
Watching the news break this week about Mark Felt, I feel compelled to write to "Junkies Speak". The Republican Party has become notorious for quoting and using the words of the founding fathers of the United States to further their causes. Many times their interpretations appear to be a bastardization of what was originally intended by these open minded and intelligent men.
When I read about Mark Felt and then realized who he was as "Deep Throat" and as second in charge at the FBI during the days of Watergate, I marveled at his courage. The words of the Declaration of Independence are so appropriate – "Prudence, indeed, will dictate that governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shown that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same object, evinces a design to reduce them under absolute despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such government, and to provide new guards for their future security." Then the Declaration lists all the "abuses and usurpations" of King George.
Mark Felt should be hailed as a national hero. He followed the instructions stated in our Declaration of Independence. Would that such a man would step forward today and lead the way as Mr. Felt did back in the seventies. Reading down the lists of abuses and usurpations, the comparisons to this administration's actions and policies is compelling and very frightening. Mark Felt has my utmost praise and gratitude.
Last Update: 03/23/2006