Michael Carmichael
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archived: 9 - 15 Apr, 2006 Back Next JACK & CONDI: STRAIGHT MAN & STAR Last week, UK Foreign Secretary Jack Straw and the US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, met in Berlin with the atonal “quartet”, (the UN, EU, US and Russia), to discuss how to deal with the troublesome Iranians. The Iranian nuclear programme frustrates neoconservatives. It does not break any international treaties. Accordingly, the neoconservatives have set some new international tripwires in place specifically for the Iranians, in the form of new rules and regulations that have never before in the history of nuclear weaponry been placed on any other nation. This includes the three that now control nuclear weapons sans the benefit of any international treaties. These unregulated and, therefore, rogue nuclear states are, in chronological order: Israel, India and Pakistan. After that troublesome Berlin meeting, Condi Rice joined Jack Straw on a high-profile visit to his home constituency, ostensibly as a repayment for his visit to her hometown, Birmingham, Alabama, last October to support her soft launch of her presidential campaign. Condi’s visit to the UK was marred by an embarrassing series of unexpected and unwanted, but far from unpredictable, events. Having a large Islamic population in his hometown of Blackburn, Jack Straw had arranged a mosque visit for Condi. The purpose of this extravagantly risky PR stunt was not really that obscure. It was designed to appeal to the millions of Muslims in America whom Condi would love to entice to back her presidential campaign. To date, American Muslims have been skeptical of Condi’s neoconservative policies and any Muslims moving into her column would wreak havoc in the war rooms of her opponents. But Straw’s mosque-based PR ploy backfired badly. The mosque in Blackburn politely reversed the invitation that, according to the Muslim community in Blackburn, had been manufactured out of whole cloth by Jack Straw’s staff – a mere figment of their imaginations. A spokesman repudiated with disgust the idea that Condoleezza Rice and Jack Straw would use their mosque as an approving backdrop for the calamitous war in Iraq, and most of its members joined the demonstrations outside against Condi and her side-kick, Jack. To make matters worse, Jack made what will be remembered as a classical Freudian slip. When he was in the process of introducing Condi, he called her, “Condom.” Since this embarrassment was reported on the 1st of April, it was regarded as an April Fool’s story. However, the Daily Telegraph, the most conservative broadsheet in Europe, provided an audio link (see below) where the slip is clearly audible. The full public interest in this “slip” is merely hinted at by further curious events that took place aboard Condi’s aeroplane that are outlined below. Literally thousands of protesters lined the streets of Blackburn and Liverpool to condemn the duo (this odd couple?). When the Lord Mayor of Blackburn appeared on the podium with them, he was booed so loudly that his face turned a bright shade of crimson. Protestors said that Jack and Condi’s trip was the most protested public appearance since the time Oswald Mosley (the founder of British Fascism) visited the region prior to WWII. Finally, hounded and shouted and protested and booed to distraction, Jack and Condi took a quick decision and fled the country aboard Condi’s jumbo jet described in the UK press as a Boeing 757. Exotic destination: Baghdad, the Green Zone. On the huge and impressive aeroplane, another story emerged that has attracted public attention in Britain. As background we have Rupert Murdoch’s flagship, The Times, publishing a series of photographs of Jack and Condi shortly after their arrival in the UK. Uncharacteristically for a European dignitary, Jack placed his hands on Condi, apparently squeezing her shoulders and touching her hands and arms. This display of affection is simply not the norm for public figures in reserved Britain. Analyzing the perplexingly personal signals in the situation, The Times consulted an expert in body language, the study of which began in the UK in the 1960s. Lo and behold, they diagnosed that Jack harbors affectionate feelings for Condi. From that moment, their meetings have been described as those of a couple on a second date. And then a larger series of images of the pair were published in The Guardian. Some of the images in this collection were recorded several years ago. The sequence containing nine images replete with smiles, kisses and hugs suggests that there probably is more than meets the eye to their professional relationship so happy and contented do the pair seem in each other’s company. To make the message clearer, the images were presented as if they were items in a family photo album adorned with a myriad of pink hearts to establish the romantic setting implied by the sequence of images of these two leading diplomats who are now firmly established as a pair in psychological and social synch with each other. Public scrutiny was heightened following their overnight flight to Baghdad, because their curious conduct aboard the flight added fuel to the fire. Apparently, Condi’s 757 is equipped with a private conference room where dignitaries are safely ensconced during the flight. In this luxuriously appointed chamber, they can be served drinks, refreshments and the usual cordon bleu meal. All of that seems perfectly reasonable. However, there was a blip in their behavior on this particular flight that caused the embedded reporters aboard to enter the peculiar events into the historical record. During the flight, someone found Condi sleeping in the aisle of her plane. Her unusual sleeping arrangement was explained as her overwhelming hospitality towards her guest, who was later discovered asleep in her bed in the on-board conference room. Public curiosity about the pair’s shuttling shenanigans in Berlin, Blackburn and Baghdad has now reached the raised eyebrow stage. Questions have been mooted. “What is the state of Straw’s marriage?” and, “What is Condi’s personal life?” Some of the usual news organizations have begun to contemplate a probe into the personal habits of the pair. What they will discover remains to be seen. Upon alighting in Baghdad, Jack and Condi appealed to Ibrahim Jaafari, the recently elected Prime Minister of Iraq, to stand down in favor of a more malleable candidate – say Adel Abdul Mahdi, for instance. Jack and Condi “met” with several powerbrokers in Baghdad. The subject of bribery and corruption in Iraq has been a matter of public concern under the US-UK-backed regime, but the amounts of any inducements to Iraqi politicians for their roles in “encouraging” the resignation of Mr Jaafari go unrecorded at this date. With Jaafari’s job and his future hanging in the balance, Jack and Condi departed, confident of their impact on this recalcitrant puppet. In their minds, they were simply encouraging a controversial figure to step out of the way to enhance the growth of democracy, their countries’ great gift to Iraq. Mr Jaafari was seen to be too friendly to Iran, which might, after all, be the target of a US air strike some day quite soon, and that might set off a chain reaction of hostile terrorism in Iraq, the UK and the USA – unless the Iraqi PM is able and willing to call for calm while enforcing draconian measures against insurgents and cracking down on the urban rabble at the same time. All seemed to be in place and the US media duly reported that Jack and Condi had convinced the unruly PM, who is known to be a fan of the political writings of Noam Chomsky. However, this morning, Britons awakened to the headline, “I will not be forced out by US and Britain – Iraqi PM.” It seems that Mr Jaafari is digging in his heels and thumbing his nose at Jack and Condi, whilst muttering the Arabic equivalent of, “Hell, NO! I won’t go!” Jack and Condi are working through a long string of assignments designed to pave the way for the US air strike against hard targets in Iran – which will serve a very important political purpose. Such an attack is designed to strengthen the disturbingly weakened hands of the neocons. The popularity of George Bush has collapsed and is now on drip-feed. Karl Rove is under an intensifying investigation and may be the subject of a grand jury indictment that could come at any moment. The Republicans need a galvanizing series of events to transform the political dynamics and to spin the situation back to their own advantage. Condi is their star player, and Jack is her straight man. At the same time as the Jack & Condi Show has been on stage, The Arab News has published an article detailing the extraordinarily high levels of funding from Zionist sources for both UK political parties. Jack Straw is a leading Labour link to Lord Levy, described in the article as a “Zionist” with a home in Tel Aviv. In America, Straw’s excellent connections to Zionist funding could reel in some substantial contributions for Condi’s presidential campaign at the right moment, and undermine her probable opponent, Hillary Clinton, herself a favorite of the group labeled by Mearsheimer and Walt as “The Israel Lobby.” Condi’s appeal to the “Israel Lobby” is unquestionable. She is a lifelong Christian Zionist and a hard line neoconservative. That Jack and Condi will continue their charade is now perfectly obvious. They intend to prolong the tenure of the neoconservative regime in America until January, 2017 which will allow her two full terms in the Oval Office in order to prosecute the war against terror, Islam and any nation holding substantial reserves of oil, gas or mineral rights. Along the way, they will manufacture consent via public relations and election-rigging, thereby reducing the rest of us to inanimate players, isolated from the democratic process – just the like the people of Iraq who elected a government and a prime minister, but who count no longer now that they have come into conflict with US interests. Using the same logic on Jack and Condi as they used on the Iraqis, the deeply unpopular George Bush would be turned out of office tomorrow, and Tony Blair, now supported by a minority of the British public, would follow in due course. Perhaps, in the not too distant future, the people of Iraq, can help bring democracy to Britain and the US. __________ References
I will not be forced out by US and UK,
says Iraqi PM
Jack becomes embedded while Condi loses
sleep Straw and Rice try to break Iraqi deadloc
International laws hinder UK troops –
Reid
How the Gibe of 'Anti-Semitism' Is Used
to Stifle Legitimate Debate
Slip of the tongue
Straw's verbal slip: judge for yourself __________________ Michael Carmichael has been a professional public affairs consultant, author and broadcaster since 1968. In 2003, he founded The Planetary Movement, a global nonprofit public affairs organization based in the United Kingdom. He has appeared as a public affairs expert on the BBC's Today Programme, Hardtalk, PM, as well as numerous appearances on ITN, NPR and many European broadcasts examining politics and culture. He can be reached through his website: www.planetarymovement.org
Last Update: 04/15/2006 |
